


I'll be Fine

by CreamyXD



Series: In a Land of Myth and a Time of Tragedy [2]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-26
Updated: 2015-08-26
Packaged: 2018-04-17 09:50:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4662204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CreamyXD/pseuds/CreamyXD
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I'll be fine."<br/>The three words Merlin always told Arthur before running into something dangerous. While Merlin was off saving the king once again, Arthur would wait in worry for his manservant's return, afraid he wouldn't come back to him but deep down he knew Merlin would be alright because this is Merlin, and Merlin always came back safe and sound. Except one day, he doesn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'll be Fine

_'I'll be fine.'_

Those three words ring out in Arthur's head, repeating itself over and over again. He rides away from the battlefield in disarray.

The army of men follow behind him. Many of the knights are beaten and bloody, a few are even missing limbs. This had been a terrible battle, one with many losses even with an all powerful warlock on their side, yet they still hadn't won. Morgana is simply much too powerful. They were outnumbered greatly to the point that not even Merlin could save them.

An image flashes in Arthur's mind. A somber expression crosses his face. His heart races in his chest.  _'Merlin will be fine,'_ he thinks to himself, ' _like he always is. That's right. He'll come back like he always does.'_

\-----

**~ 6 years ago~**

_Arthur darts through the trees, pulling his manservant along behind him. Their hands are entwined together as they dart through the forest. Loud hollers and shouts can be heard behind the pair as the group of bandits begin to gain on them._

_Arthur's grip tightens on Merlin's hand as he hears the bandits steadily approach. His heart pounds in his chest as they run. His lungs burn with each breath, desperate for a break but he knows that can't happen. Not unless he wants the bandits to catch them._

_They whip around a small ridge and press their backs against the bumpy surface. They try and catch their breaths as the men walk by above them._

_"Search the area! They can't have gone far!" The leader shouts._

_The prince and his manservant remain completely still. Neither move a muscle as the bandits continue their search. Arthur's heart stops when one of the bandits sees them. The man holds up a hand and points. "There! There's the prince!" He bellows loudly, causing all the bandits heads to whip in their direction._

_Arthur pulls Merlin's hand once again, attempting to run in the opposite direction when more bandits appear. Arthur glances around. There's no use. They're surrounded._

_That's when Merlin steps forward. He has his hand raised. An angry flare in his eyes that causes a few of the bandits to skirt backwards in slight fear. "Arthur I'll create an opening for you, on my cue you run," he says, his voice deep and menacing._

_Arthur looks to Merlin in bewilderment. "I'm not leaving you Merlin! If we're going anywhere we're going together!" He says, hand clutching more tightly to Merlin's._

_Merlin shakes his hand away. "Arthur you're the Once and Future King and it is my duty to protect you. You will run when I tell you too and you won't look back."_

_"Merl-"_

_"Arthur, I'll be fine. I'll see you back in Camelot." With that Merlin's eyes flared gold. The first wave of enemies are blasted back. They fall to the ground a few meters away, most of them unconscious. Merlin then sets his gaze at a weaker link in the circle of enemies that surrounds them. He raises his hand once more before chanting a spell. A fireball emits from his palm, blasting a gap for Arthur to escape._

_"Now, Arthur. Go!" He shouts, shoving Arthur out of the now broken ring of men._

_Arthur stands frozen a little ways away, watching as Merlin starts to blast away the enemies who dare run after him. "What are you doing Arthur?! Run!" He yells again._

_Despite his minds protests, he runs. His body refuses to listen to him, refuses to stop and turn around to help Merlin. Arthur curses under his breath. '_ He must have used a spell _.' Arthur concludes as his body continues to disobey him._

_After running for what feels like hours he finally stops. He collapses to his knees, breathing heavily. He turns to look behind him. All is quiet. Not a single sound. The bandits didn't follow him._

_Arthur stumbles to his feet and attempts to run back but his legs buckle under him. Merlin is the last thought in his head before he passes out._

_\------_

_He wakes a few hours later. He looks up at the sky and sees its already much past dark. The moon is up high in the sky and the stars are out. He sits up quickly and glances around, hoping Merlin would be there but he isn't. He's no where in sight._

_Arthur stands, ready to go back and search for the idiot when he hears a rustle in the bush behind him. He turns around quickly, sword in hand. He waits for a moment, listening for any other signs of movement when a branch snaps._

_"Declare yourself," Arthur calls out to the bush._

_Silence._

_Arthur grits his teeth. "I said declare yourself!"_

_Something stumbles out of the bush. A human. It walks forward towards Arthur before a chuckle escapes the figures lips. "It's nice to see you too Arthur," the figure says._

_Arthur freezes, recognizing the voice. When the figure emerges from the shadows Arthur lets out a gleeful laugh. "Merlin!" He calls out, wrapping his arms around him in a tender embrace. He nuzzles his face in Merlin's neck, breathing in the scent of his lover._

_Merlin chuckles before giving him a small kiss on the cheek. "I said I would be fine didn't I?" he says with a smile._

_Arthur smiles back before leaning forward and giving him another kiss except this time on the lips._

_\-----_

**_~_ ** **5 years ago~**

_Arthur waits impatiently as Merlin dresses his wound. He winces slightly when Merlin applies the bandages. "Do you have any ideas on how to stop those gargoyles?" He asks his manservant._

_Merlin looks up at him a little nervously. "The gargoyles aren't the problem," he replies._

_Arthur looks at him in question. "What do you mean?"_

_"I can defeat the gargoyles easily with my..." He glances around to make sure no ones listening to their conversation, "...magic, but there's an even bigger threat. A sorcerer. By the name of Cornelius Sigan."_

_"And how do we stop this sorcerer?" Arthur leans forward in earnest._

_"I can stop him but... It'll be risky."_

_Arthur's eyes are blown wide. "Risky? Merlin, what are planning on doing?" Worry creases Arthur's expression._

_"I...um... need to let him posses my body and force his soul back into the jewel."_

_"Are you insane?! What if he takes over?!"_

_"Then I'll die."_

_"No. No no no no no. I am_ not  _letting you do this Merlin." Arthur grabs at Merlin's wrist._

_Merlin simply sets his gaze to the ground. "I have to Arthur. There's no other way to stop him." He shakes his hand out of Arthur's grasp._

_"Merlin you will not-" he's interrupted by Merlin's soft lips on his own. Arthur closes his eyes and basks in the sweetness before Merlin quickly pulls away, hoping no one saw._

_The warlock smiles up at his king. "I'll be fine," he says before turning and heading out the door of the citadel._

_Arthur stumbles from the bench he'd been seated on. He tries to make his way to the door but is pushed back by Leon. "Leon let me go!" He calls out angrily._

_"Sorry sire but Merlin said not to let you go," he explains a little sombrely._

_"And since when did you take orders from him?! I said let me go Leon, by order of the Prince of Camelot!"_

_Leon reluctantly lets go when he sees that Arthur will never listen. Arthur rushes to the door. He throws it open and gazes outside. Stone and rubble lay scattered across the courtyard. The decapitated head of a gargoyle lies a few feet in front of him. Arthur looks up in time to see a blue mist appear from Cedric's body. The man collapses to the floor as the blue smoke starts to travel towards Merlin who simply stands still in waiting. Arthur watches helplessly as the smoke enters his manservant's body, slowly taking over. Merlin begins to chant, his eyes shining gold as his magic begins to work. When the blue mist completely disappears into Merlin's body he collapses to the floor. He starts to shudder violently._

_"Merlin!" Arthur calls out frantically. He runs over to his fallen lover, kneeling down beside him. He holds Merlin's body as he continues to twitch. Slowly he stops. He doesn't move. Arthur watches the blue fade from his eyes before its replaced with black._

_"Merlin...?" Arthur pleads, "Merlin please..."_

_Merlin sits up abruptly, making Arthur jolt in surprise. Merlin gasps and his eyes slowly fade back to its usual dazzling blue. A wide grin spreads on Arthur's face when Merlin turns to him and smiles, holding up the jewel in his hand which now houses the soul of Cornelius Sigan once more._

_"I said I would be fine didn't I?" Merlin says with one of his goofy smiles._

_\-----_

**~ 3 years ago~**

_"I'll go back," Merlin says, turning around to walk in the opposite direction the group are going in._

_Arthur reaches a hand out and pushes him back. "What are you going to do?" He asks in worry._

_"Create a diversion."_

_"It's too risky." Arthur shoves Merlin back so he's able to block his path._

_"I know these tunnels, Agravaine doesn't. You keep going." Merlin shoves the torch into Arthur's hands, about to walk past him when Arthur stops him once more._

_"Merlin," Arthur says, his voice laced with concern. The manservant looks into Arthur's eyes. An inner battle can be seen fighting within the Kings eyes. Fighting to know wether or not he should let his love go off alone. Yet, he knows Merlin's right. He needs to keep moving. If he's caught then all is over. Camelot will fall to the hands of Morgana and he can't let that happen. So, with a heavy heart, he agrees to let him go. "Don't do anything stupid," he says._

_Merlin grins. "I'll be fine."_

_He turns and heads off in the opposite direction. Arthur stares at the back of his manservant and lover as he walks away. He hesitates, tempted to run after him but decides against it. '_ Merlin will be fine,'  _he tells himself in his mind before turning and following after his friends._

_\-----_

_After walking for some time a noise stops Arthur in his tracks. The first thought in his mind is Merlin._

_"What are you doing?" Tristan asks._

_"Shh," Arthur shushes him, listening closely. Then there it is again. A noise. One that worried Arthur about the well being of his manservant._

_"I'm going back," he says suddenly, pushing past an astonished Tristan._

_Arthur heads quietly back to where he separated from Merlin. He lifts the torch aloft and sees a shadow lurking by the corridor. He pulls out his sword and is ready to strike when Merlin turns the corner. "Merlin!" He calls out excitedly._

_"Arthur? You came back?" Merlin asks somewhat surprised._

_"I thought I heard a noise and... well... I got worried."_

_Merlin flashes one of his goofy smiles. "Aw, you were worried."_

_"No I wasn't."_

_Merlin cocks his head to the side, quirking up an eyebrow with a smirk._

_"Alright fine. I was," Arthur confesses._

_Merlin leans forward and gives him a peck on the cheek. "I said I would be fun didn't I?" he says before walking past him to find his friends_

_\-----_

**~ A few hours earlier~**

_Arthur stands in front of his army. His sword hangs from his belt, waiting patiently for its master to pull it forth for battle. Merlin stands to Arthur's right. He has his hands behind his back. He shifts from foot to foot nervously as Morgana's army slowly begins to arrive._

_Arthur swallows down at his nervousness when he sees more and more men emerge behind Morgana, who's currently in the lead with Mordred. A wicked smile is plastered to her face as she approaches._

_Arthur soon pulls his sword from its sheath. He brings the blade up high in the air, prompting his men to do the same. "For the love of Camelot!" He shouts across the ridge for all to hear. The chant is repeated by all the Knights in unison, their voices echoing off the rocks as they charge into battle._

_The first strike is brought down by none other then Merlin. He blasts a large bolt of lighting into the centre of Morgana's men, scattering them about. Arthur risks a look back at his beloved and smiles. With Merlin on their side there's no way they can lose._

_Arthur charges in full force. He slashes and hacks away at the men around him, trying his best to aim for Morgana who's currently in a magical standoff with Merlin. Unfortunately, his attempts are constantly thwarted by Morgana's men who engage him relentlessly. Every time he feels he's close he's pushed back by more men. Arthur curses. He needs to get to Morgana._

_The battle rages on for some time. The Kings forces begin to dwindle as more and more of his men are defeated by Morgana's seemingly endless waves of enemies. Arthur looks up as he pulls his sword from one of Morgana's men. He sees Merlin blast Morgana back against the rock wall behind her. Her heads smashes against the stone rendering her unconscious. Merlin gives a sigh of relief, his chest heaves up and down heavily. Arthur gives a small smile in Merlin's direction, Glad that he's safe. At his momentary distraction Mordred manages to slowly come up behind him. That's when Merlin turns, his eyes widen when he sees Mordred lift the blade above his head, ready to strike._

_"Arthur! Behind you!" Merlin screams down at his king._

_Arthur spins around and quickly steps back, narrowly avoiding the blow. Mordred scowls and advances forward. Merlin begins to frantically make his way towards Arthur, knocking enemies dead with a simple wave of his hand._

_Arthur dodges another strike from Mordred before he stumbles over a body, allowing the druid to sweep his foot under Arthur, effectively knocking the king down onto his back. Arthur scrambles to get up in time but Mordred kicks him back down easily. Arthur groans before once again struggling to stand. Mordred laughs and kicks him again. "You lose Arthur," he says, raising his blade, "this is for Kara."_

_The world seems to slow around Arthur. The king watches in horror as the blade steadily descends, aiming straight for his heart. Arthur screws his eyes shut, bracing himself for the inevitable but nothing happens. There's no sudden burst of pain in his chest. No agony._

_He waits for a heartbeat._

_Two heartbeats._

_Three._

_He opens his eyes. He expects to see Mordred's scowl, his face contorted in anger. But no... what he sees is far worse. In front of him is Merlin's back. A sword protrudes from the centre, the blood soaked tip of the blade a mere inch away from Arthur's face. A blossom of red begins to bloom around the base of the sword, spreading steadily across Merlin's back. Arthur stares in shock at the blood that drips from the blade. Merlin's blood._

_The warlocks hands are in front of him, gripping tightly at Mordred's sword so he's unable to pull it out. A snarl curls across Merlin's lips when he sees more of Morgana's men begin coming up behind Mordred._

_"Merlin...?" Arthur chokes out, his voice hitching._

_Merlin turns his head back to look at Arthur and smiles. The usual goofy grin. "Go Arthur. Get the knights. Retreat. We can't win this fight. This way we can save the ones who are still alive," Merlin says, stating the truth._

_Arthur continues to stare in utter dismay. His heart slowly breaking at the sight of Merlin's broken form. "I'm not leaving you," he manages to say without his voice cracking._

_"I'll be fine."_

_Arthur swallows. '_ He said he'll be fine,'  _he thinks to himself, '_ he's Merlin. He always comes back.'  _With that thought in mind he slowly gets to his feet. He turns and begins to rally his men for retreat._

_\-----_

Arthur quickly shakes his head, pushing the memories away from his mind. ' _Merlin will come back. Stop worrying so much.'_

Arthur steels himself and continues going. He keeps his eyes locked on the trail back to Camelot.

\-----

**~1 week later~**

"Arthur? You need to eat," Gwen says as she strolls into the chambers belonging to the King of Camelot.

"I don't want to," he responds in the same monotone voice he's been speaking in for the past week.

"You have to eat something. Even just a bite is better then nothing. Please Arthur." She begs him, holding the tray of food towards him, hoping the smell will be enough to make him change his mind.

"I said no Guinevere." He practically growls.

Gwen places the tray down on a nearby table. She sighs, exasperated at the broken king. She glances at him worriedly. His form is framed by the moonlight that shines through the window he gazes out of non-stop. His arms are crossed over his chest as he leans by the wall, staring almost unblinking out at the courtyard below.

"It's been a week Arthur." She gazes at him nervously.

"I know."

"You still think he'll come back?"

Arthur turns to face her. She gasps slightly at the state he's in. His eyes are bloodshot and there are dark bags under them. He looks like he hasn't had a wink of sleep. "Merlin will come back. He said he'd be fine."

Gwen sighs. She rubs at her elbow, unsure of what to do. "Arthur, do you really believe that?"

Arthur's gaze hardens. "Of course. Do you not?"

Gwen hesitates. She knows she'll break him if she speaks the truth but does anyway. If no one else does then he'll starve himself waiting for a love that will never return. "I don't Arthur. I don't. I don't believe anyone does and I know you don't either."

Arthur turns furious. His fists clench at his sides. "How many times must I say it?! Merlin. Is. Fine. He said so. He said he'll be fine!"

"Merlin is dead! We all saw what happened to him on that battlefield! No one, not even Merlin, could survive a blow like that!"

Something seems to break in Arthur's eyes. They glaze over slightly from being punched square in the face with the unbearable truth because as Gwen said,  _he knows_. He knows Merlin couldn't have survived that blow. He knows Merlin isn't coming back but he simply refuses to admit it. He refuses to acknowledge it as if ignoring reality will make it false. Arthur turns away from Gwen. He continues to stare down at the courtyard, waiting for Merlin to enter through the gates.

"Arthur! Look at me!" Gwen shouts, grabbing the Kings shoulders and spinning him around. "Merlin. Is.  _Dead._ He's gone. He's gone and he's never coming back." Her voice breaks at the end.

"No." Arthur shakes his head frantically. "No he isn't. He's coming back because he always comes back! He always does! He's coming back home! He'll..." Arthur's voice starts to break, the anger slowly dissipating. "He'll come home... and say those words again. Say ' _I said I would be fine didn't I?'_ while that goofy smile is plastered to his face and then he'll laugh at how worried I was and... and..." Arthur drops to his knees. Tears streaming down his eyes. Slowly, he starts to laugh.

Gwen watches on worriedly as the king laughs almost insanely before finally stopping and slumps down against the wall. His head falls back against the cold stone. "I'm a fool aren't I? Guinevere, please. Leave me," he says, his voice broken.

"As you wish sire," Gwen bows and exits the chamber, leaving the king alone.

Arthur curls in on himself. He tucks his knees to his chest and proceeds to wrap his arms around them. He glances around his chambers. The place looks empty without Merlin there. The usually lively room is now silent. Not a single sound to be heard. No laughter. No made up insults being said. No goblets being thrown across the room. No Merlin.

Tears start to stream down Arthur's face. They drop down onto his rumpled tunic. One by one. Suddenly the silence in the chamber is broken. The whole castle could hear the heart wrenching sobs of their shattered king as he cries for his best friend, his manservant, his love. Arthur cries because he knows. He knows he will never hear him laugh. Knows he will never see him smile. Knows he will never kiss him. And he knows that Merlin  _isn't_  fine. Knows that Merlin will never come home. Not this time. Not ever again.


End file.
